Feelings: What are they good for?
Absolutely ... well ... quite a lot, actually. Each and every one of our emotions has important purposes, ways it helps us navigate life.
The Purpose Of All Our Emotions
Our emotions have evolved from our instincts to survive by reacting in ways that protected us. This essentially means that our emotions focus our attention and motivate us to act.
Building Emotional Intelligence
Teaching kids the purpose of their emotions leads them to better understand them. With understanding, they can then learn to respond to them in healthy ways – rather than react to, avoid or try to change them into something more “acceptable”. These are 2 core elements of higher Emotional Intelligence.
Understanding looks like:
I feel mad
It’s okay to feel mad
Feeling mad can help me to (stand up for myself, protect myself…etc).
Responding in healthy ways looks like:
First I need to do something to calm down, then I can share my feelings better.
I can calm down by…
counting to ten,
doing jumping jacks (or another exercise),
drawing a picture (of my anger or something calming, for examples),
singing along to some music.
When I’m calmer, I can share how I felt with someone I trust.
The Four Basic Emotions
When teaching kids the purpose of emotions we choose to begin with the 4 basics. These are the emotions that researchers agree are universally recognized from an early age.
The 4 basic emotions are also believed to form the building blocks of more complex emotions we develop and recognize as we learn, grow and mature. See our Feelings Wheel and Feeling Cards linked below.
Key Purposes Of Our 4 Basic Emotions
Happy
Happiness helps us to connect with others. It also releases stress in our bodies and encourages our brains to relax, become more open and solve problems effectively.
Reminds us what really matters to us
Sad
Sadness leads us to slow down and reflect. It helps us process the deeper meaning of our experiences and let go of losses. Tears release stress hormones and stimulate the production of feel good chemicals. This is why crying tends to help us actually feel better.
Encourages us to slow down and take care
Scared
Fear signals danger. It lets us know when there is a possible physical or emotional threat. Fear can also trigger anger and the fight-flight-or-freeze response in our bodies that enables us to defend or protect ourselves if needed.
Alerts us that something might be unsafe
Mad
Anger also stimulates our body’s fight-flight-or-freeze response when we are feeling challenged. It is meant to prepare us to defend or protect ourselves. It focuses our attention on something we may want or need to change.
Helps us to stand up against problems
The Recap
All emotions have purposes
Emotional Intelligence grows from the ability to understand and respond to emotions
There are 4 basic emotions on which all others are based
Each of the 4 basic emotions has key purposes
How The Jobs Of Feelings Poster + Handouts Help
The Jobs Of Feelings Poster And Handouts focus on the 4 basic emotions of happy, sad, scared and mad.
The Poster shows the 4 basic emotions, along with the jobs of each. This is a great resource for helping kids begin to:
• Talk about feelings
• Recognize feelings
• Understand that each feeling has important and helpful purposes (jobs)
• Learn what some of the important and helpful jobs of each feeling are
• Learn to respond to feelings in healthy ways
Each of the Handouts uses the following 3 activity prompts to help kids become more familiar with 1 basic emotion at a time:
Circle the 5 feelings that are most like this feeling
Circle the job of this feeling
Things I can do when I feel this way
When kids are ready to explore the more complex feelings beyond happy, sad, scared and mad use the Feelings Wheel For Kids and Feelings Cards linked below.
Emotions flow through our bodies all the time. So, shouldn’t we be learning about them?
Our goal is to help kids become comfortable with all emotions, to know that their feelings are ALL important and okay. From here they can learn what to do. Feelings only become problems when they are misunderstood and then suppressed or expressed in ways that are unhealthy or harmful.
Links:
Feelings Wheel For Kids
Feelings Cards PDF Version
Feelings Cards Hard Copy Version
Theories Of Basic and Complex Emotions